Chapter Two

Chapter Two

My first week with Margret went smoothly. I avoided Kirk whenever possible. His steady gaze never ceased to send chills down my spine. Mena followed me everywhere, a chatty blonde shadow.

The remainder of my belongings came the following week. Six large boxes contained my life. I sat beside Mena on my bed, holding the doll my mother had given me as a child.

Jessica had offered to help me unpack and put my things away. She had really dived into our deal. I suppose the thought of getting an A had something to do with it.

“Wow. You’ve got some nice stuff. You were rich, huh?” She turned toward me, a smile on her face and my blue silk shirt in her hands.

“That’s pretty.” Mena said softly, looking up from brushing her Barbie’s hair. She hadn’t stopped smiling since I’d let her in.

“Ugh, don’t you have cartoons to watch?” Jessica rolled her eyes as she placed my shirt in the closet.

Mena shook her head sending her golden curls bouncing, reminding me of Shirley Temple.

“It’s Saturday. All the cartoons are for babies.”

“You are a baby.”

I shot Jessica an arch look, shaking my head sharply. She pressed her lips together and continued to go through the boxes.

“Holy shit!”

Mena and I looked up at the exclamation, my throat tightening. Jessica was holding the fur lined white coat. I swallowed as she next pulled the cream dress from the box.

“These are amazing! I bet they feel great on.” Her eyes glittered as her fingers traveled over the soft fur.

I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Mena left my side to run her fingers over the silk of the dress.

“Those aren’t supposed to be here.” My voice was too high, even to my ears. My throat constricted painfully. I’d told Caroline I didn’t want them.

I stood slowly, my eyes riveted to the dress in Mena’s gentle fingers. Memories hit me full force in the stomach as Jessica removed a framed picture of my parents and I.

“Whoa, talk about a gorgeous family.” Jessica’s smile slipped away as she turned to face me. “Hey, you alright?”

My father’s dark eyes stared out at me. Sounds from that night invaded my mind. Bile burned my throat, searing my tongue, and my knees buckled beneath me.

“Oh my God! Ashley!” The terror in Jessica’s voice caused my heart to slam into double time. I blinked and carpet rose up to meet me, soft beneath my cheek. Mena’s crying was the last thing I heard before darkness took over.

Margret’s voice swam through the inky blackness. Her hands were rough as she patted my cheeks, ordering Jessica to get a cool cloth. I forced my eyes open and sat up. Embarrassment colored my cheeks, nausea rolled through my stomach.

Theresa, Mena, Benny and Kirk were standing in the doorway staring down at me.

“There, there now. Just need a bit of lunch, I’m sure.” Margret stood and bustled from the room, dragging Kirk behind her. His eyes sent a chill down my spine.

“Are you okay?” Theresa asked quietly, stepping into the room. Benny’s hand was clasped tightly in hers, his blue eyes large as saucers.

“I’m fine. Just bruised my pride.” I smiled reassuringly at the younger kids, sitting up slowly.

“Mena why don’t you take Benny and Theresa down and see if Margret needs any help.” Jessica stepped forward, offering a weak smile to Mena. The young girl nodded, taking Benny’s hand and leading them from the room.

My head throbbed, leaving me feeling dizzy. I didn’t understand what was going on with my head, but I was sure after this little incident Margret was sure to start asking a few questions.

“There are other ways to get attention, you know. Fainting is SO overrated.”

My head snapped up at Kirk’s smooth voice. My throat tightened at the look in his eyes.

“Take a picture, Kirk. It’ll last longer.” Jessica snapped, closing the door in his face.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jessica kneeled down beside me, her eyes searching mine.

“I think so. Good acting, by the way.” I twisted my fingers in the hem of my shirt, my voice hollow even to my ears.

“Jesus, Ashley. I wasn’t acting! Look, I’m not going to ask, because I know the kind of shit people go through. But try not to pass out on a regular basis, okay?”

I looked up at her, tears blurring my vision. I nodded, falling against her when she opened her arms, and let it all pour out.

It was the screaming that woke me. The screaming always woke me. The crashing of glass that brought me from my bed into the hallway. Silently I crept down the hall, my heart pounding in my chest, knowing what I would find. My footsteps were muffled on the thick grey carpet as I descended the stairs. Fighting tears, I stepped into the living room.

My mother was once a beautiful woman, a super model in my eyes. I suppose she still would be if the bruises were allowed to heal.

I looked down at her laying on a bed of broken glass, the remains of the third coffee table this week. Blood trickled from a gash at her eyebrow, a split in her lower lip. Blood tinted her blonde hair a sickly orange color. My father loomed over her wiping his hands on a fine white guest towel.

Kneeling down beside my mother I checked for signs of life, my heart slamming against my ribs. She was still alive, this time. I glared at Harold, for that’s how I thought of him. Fourteen years of watching him beat my mother had killed the image of father in my mind.

“Ashley,” He growled snapping the towel at me. “Leave her be. She knows what she did. She can clean herself up.”

I stared hatefully at him as my mother moaned and rolled into my lap. I stroked her hair and hated the tears sliding down my cheeks. It took an hour for her to regain conciseness, after which she begged for a shower.

I helped her into the shower stall, and stood there while the hot water sluiced over her pale body. I wondered why she didn’t just leave him. Why she never crept into my room in the middle of the night, bags in hand, and tell me we were leaving. In my fantasies she did. Every night I dreamed the door opened, and she swept in like a pale angel to rescue me from this life.

“Get me a towel, Ashley.” Her voice was soft, whispery, yet somehow managed to rouse me. Obediently I retrieved a large white towel for her. Helping her step from the tub I wrapped the towel around her.

I wondered what it was like to have a mother, to be the one being wrapped in the towel. Gently I moved my mother to her vanity chair and sat her down, facing away from the mirror. I took her brush and slowly ran it through her long hair. Smiling as it flowed through her hair, remembering a time when she used to do the same for me.

I remembered climbing into her lap with my Minnie Mouse brush, insisting she do it. Sometimes she would sing to me. She had the loveliest voice. Anger squeezed my heart, as a tear escaped. I would kill him, if she didn’t, of that I was sure.

“Why don’t you leave him, mother?” I whispered, knowing her answer. The definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over again hoping for a different end. I suppose then that I was insane, for I asked my mother this question every time we were alone.

“I’m his wife, Ashley.” She said robotically. That’s how I thought of her anymore, a beautiful robot. I nearly screamed when she whipped around and gripped my wrists. Her blue eyes were wide with fear and insanity as she stared up at me.

“Run. Escape now. I’ll distract him. Run, child. Hide while you can. He’ll come for you next.”

Her words turned my blood cold. I felt the blood drain from my face, a rock falling into my stomach as my body turned to ice. Mustering all the strength I could, I removed her hands from my wrists and took her trembling shoulders in my arms. Kissing the top of her head, we cried together before crawling into my bed and waiting out the night.

“Ashley, wake up.”

I jolted awake, my heart pounding, cheeks wet with tears and sweat, my mother’s name on my lips. I bit back a strangled sob as I looked into Jessica’s worried gaze.

Saying nothing she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close. I clung to her, like a drowning man to a life jacket. Her scent washed over me, sweet and calming, her body still warm from her bed. I didn’t know what to say, couldn’t have spoken if I did.

Jessica had been there for me so many times these first few weeks. She might come off as being tough and sassy, but once you got to know her she was loyal and caring.

“Are you okay?” She brushed the hair from my forehead, her green eyes luminous in the half light. It was 4:30 in the morning, but I didn’t have to look at the clock to confirm it. I always woke at the same time I’d woken on that night.

“Yes, I’m sorry I woke you.” My words hitched as I tried to stop the flow of tears. Someone must have been looking out for me to have given me a friend such as Jessica.

“Do you want me to get in bed with you? I don’t mind.”

Her kindness broke my heart, but somehow I managed to smile.

“I’ll be fine, go back to sleep.”

Jessica watched me a minute longer, as if judging the weight of my lie. Finally she sighed, stood and crawled back into her own bed.

I lay for what felt like eternity, listening to Jessica breathing. There was an odd comfort about having another person in the room with me. I knew I couldn’t be alone. During the day I could occupy myself, but nights were the worst; it all became so fresh at night.

Strangely I looked forward to today. In four hours I would be attending my new high school. I closed my eyes, praying for sleep. It came, swift and dreamless.

I stared out the window at the large brick building. It was larger by far than my old school, and much more imposing. The grounds were well manicured, the atmosphere cheerful and yet it still reminded me of a prison. I caught my breath when Mrs. Kessler’s hand came down on my knee.

“I could try to talk to the principle again, honey. Tell him you’re not ready yet?”

Her voice was so kind, her words sincere. I wanted to cry, to curl up into a ball and let her hold me. I wanted to run away. I’d avoided going for two weeks. The law required I attend school. I was beginning to like Margret, and I didn’t want her to get a fine because of me.

“No. I need to do this.” I forced a smile. “But thank you.”

I climbed from the van, took a deep breath and walked into school.